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I’m really not prejudiced against gay people, in the sense that I prejudge them and close my mind off to any exceptions. But I’ve noticed that there exists in spades a character trait among gay or bisexual men that, to be fair, I find equally annoying but much rarer among women.

It’s that clueless seduction of a person who clearly has no interest in them. One sees this among grade-school girls primarily — obsessive crushes overbearingly imposed. But most of these girls eventually grow out of it —  or grow into it, in all the right places, so to speak. At that time, though, they seem to sincerely feel that strong desire itself, if overbearingly expressed, might fuse onto someone who feels no desire at all.

I’m tempted to blame this aberrant adult belief on our society, as it may not be entirely safe for gay kids to be open about their orientation like other kids — all the straight kids working through the first awkward stages of flirting, relationships and sexuality. Thus, perhaps, they never learn to pull back from self-centered romantic desires after a few painful, public humiliations.

But plenty of fully-grown straight women still do that same, overbearing thing — only to straight guys, at least, not to gay ones — Tom Cruise excepted. And straight guys do it as well — to straight women, and not to gay ones — lesbian porn stars excepted.

So, I guess I just don’t understand that whole orientation, desire disconnect. Personally, when I don’t see any interest in me from a woman I find attractive, I move on immediately. And if I get even an inkling that an attractive woman isn’t interested in men at all, I’m off on my merry way all the quicker.

But maybe society just needs sex traffic controllers to talk us through landing the right plane at the right airstrip.

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