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As a lifelong dork, I’d like to take this opportunity to make it clear that there are some very important distinctions to be made between the traditional dork and either nerds or geeks. My “kind,” for instance, do not generally excel at math or science as nerds do. Nor do dorks become overly excited about fairly mundane developments as geeks are known to be  — no getting “geeked” about the latest Spider Man action figure.

We merry band of dorks, in addition to our trademark physical awkwardness, are distinguished instead by an unwillingness to take seriously the “game” or the “players.” In intense social situations, you can count on us to say something embarrassingly inappropriate at a masterfully unfortunate time.

Young dorks do this unwittingly; we older dorks do it by design. We are the omega men; and our natural role is to remind the alpha males that life is not just a competition for the best women.

Life is as much about our laughing in the face of failure as it is about our looking cool at the gates of success.