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For the sake of this discussion, however irresponsible it might be, let’s assume our world isn’t finished in ninety-six days, give or take. Let us assume, rather, that planet Earth, and we, its intransigent human squatters, survive to squat for eons afterward.

Stay with me here.

No matter how low the IQs, many of us today could probably use a smart phone if our lives depended upon it (and many sort of do.) This is amazing. That’s a lot of technology in the hands of the average Joe or Jenny.

But just exactly what, pray tell, will be in Joe and Jenny’s hands in the next ten thousand years? Or ten million years?

Well, it ain’t gonna be a time machine, we know that.

Sure, if we can believe Al Einstein, it may be possible theoretically to travel through time. But one would have to assume that, however far into the future one must go to find this, eventually such technology would fall into the hands of — you guessed it — average Joe and average Jenny. (Doubt it? Anyone even today could find a how-to book for building a nuke: it’s just too hard right now to secure the materials and master the processes involved in building one. But in the future?)

In the year 2012012, all this might very well have changed. And, much as today available phone technology sends us out-of-frame, unfocused shots of “Mister Winky” and “the wookie,” in a future far far away, such technology might be used to return us to random points in time for similarly brainless fun.

So: Why aren’t we seeing any such shenanigans today? Surely, even playing the averages, a few among the 2012012 hoards might find something about our own time interesting enough to screw with it. So, where are they?

Invisible, you say? You really think the Joe we all know and love could stand to be unnoticed by all those around him? Or Jenny?

Ridiculous.

There are but three explanations: Joe and Jenny were both eventually banned from the human gene pool. Time travel is not possible. Or time travel is possible — but we have exactly ninety-six days to figure it out.

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